The Power of Love


New love is so powerful that it can inspire you to do things you never thought possible, to become a version of yourself you almost don’t recognize.

Love is a force to be reckoned with, one that very few other interests or emotions can match. If only this “new love superpower” could be bottled. If only it lasted a lifetime instead of a few months. If only we could return at will to those initial feelings of euphoria and energy that compelled us to move mountains. Let’s fast-forward now to the present day. Maybe it’s five, ten, twenty, or even fifty years since you first started dating.

You and your partner love one another, but that initial infatuation has faded. The thrill has been replaced by distraction, routine, and maybe some inattention or apathy. Old bad habits have crept back into your lives, and new not-so-positive habits have developed in the way you interact and communicate with each other. You find yourselves more easily pulled away from each other to focus on kids, work, hobbies, television, social media, and other distractions. Some of the positive, loving habits you willingly embraced in the early days—like complimenting him every day or surprising her with flowers—have fallen by the wayside. As the years have gone by, maybe you’ve neglected some of the personal habits you adopted to win over your partner, like staying fit or being tidy. The almost effortless ability to be your best self has waned, and you begin to take one another and the relationship for granted. Maybe the relationship has stalled, and you’re not really sure why or what to do about it.

Let’s talk about the mindful Relationship, in fact most love relationships do stall or falter after the initial infatuation phase. This is the time when irritations with your partner start to show up and your own insecurities and past wounds begin to seep through the perfect façade you present to one another in early days.

Irritations can turn into misunderstandings, hurt feelings, resentments, and full-blown arguments. We often allow anger or passive-aggressive behaviors to infect our once-intimate bond.

We allow ourselves to revert to laziness or inattention with our relationships. Where we were once laser-focused on our partner and how to make him or her happy, we are now more focused on ourselves and how we can protect our turf, nurse our wounds, and blame our partners when things turn sour.

If we remain stuck in this post-infatuation phase, our relationship can languish in a state of discontent for years, until it slowly unravels, leading to two people living separate lives. This is not the kind of relationship we imagined for ourselves when we first got together.

You might ask yourself: How did I become so disconnected? Why do we turn away from one another? Why does the person I once thought hung the moon now push every possible button on my emotional switchboard?

 Couples who find themselves stuck in a cycle of hurt feelings, blame, anger, reactivity or simply boredom and apathy do have a path forward. It is possible for them to find a way back to the loving, fun, sexy, intimate relationship they once shared. It is at this stage of disconnection that couples have the greatest opportunity for personal growth and happiness through the practice of relationship mindfulness.

Preview photo credit: pixbay

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